Becoming a webcam model has never been easier with the help of Off The Record Models but finding your niche on cam is a little trickier. You may be thinking your personality or alter ego best fits being a Domme? Lets find out together… We have invited our very own LatinaCyn in to share her experience and top tips on becoming a successfully dominatrix.
Why only become a webcam model? Read my tops tips on becoming a Dominatrix!
Delving into the world of BDSM is certainly not for everyone. Within a D/S relationship, there is a predominant element of absolute trust and intense kink that ought to balance each other out – after all, a submissive is willing to be stripped away of all his/her liberties for your sheer amusement, pleasure or both.
I have been a practicing Domme for some time now & from personal experience, I can say that I identify myself with being a disciplinarian. A firm female supremacist that will take your hand, guide you, nurture you & mould you into the perfect submissive I know you ought to be for me. You will be in awe of me, adoring & worshipping the floor I walk on. I will analyse your body, I will study & infiltrate your mind. This will be executed in such a non-invasive way that before you even know it, you’re under my spell. When I order you to do something. You’ll find yourself not being able to deny my desires – you will just deliver. My style of dominating is a true reflection of my personality. Those who have interacted with me in the past would agree on this as well.
However, there are a lot of elements to being a Domme – it’s not as easy as we make it look. We invest a lot of our time & money in perfecting our craft.
Needless to say that there is a lot that comes into becoming a good Domme, but the beautiful part is when you get to see all of your hard work come to fruition and you enjoy the fruits of your efforts & savour that success, knowing that you have poured your heart & soul into something you thoroughly enjoy.
So now you may be asking – so what does it take to be a Domme?
In short, I can tell you this – if you have an extremely creative mind, have a naturally dominant attitude in general and enjoy nothing more than controlling your significant other (or a prospective submissive) then you’re halfway there ☺
Read on to find my top tips to becoming a Domme ( & a good one too).
1. Decide what fetishes & fantasies you are comfortable with.
There are Dommes that are open to have a lot of sexual contact with their clients, others strictly don’t. Whether you’re a novice Dominatrix or a veteran, you are NOT obliged to cater to every fantasy/ fetish. Remember, this is a fantasy that both parties ought to enjoy, not feel almost forced into doing. For example, a few of my favourite fetishes include hypnosis and humiliation (in all forms). Having said that, sissyfication, urethral sounding & fetishes involving fire are not ones that I’d particularly enjoy for the simple fact that they would serve no useful purpose to me.
My advice to you on this one? Take your time to research on the very & many fetishes that there are & ultimately decide which ones you could see yourself enjoying. Remember, you have all the control & your tastes will fluctuate over time as your experience develops too.
2. Have an open conversation with your client.
Many people from all walks of life seek to indulge in these fetishes for many different reasons. You shouldn’t judge whatever their desires & reasons are for this. You ought to treat each client with respect and understanding. Be open and transparent with them about what you offer (& expect from them) but on the same note, allow them to feel liberated enough to tell you how and what they are seeking. State your limits & boundaries. Always stress to the client that these conditions are non-negotiable, no matter how much they are willing to pay you. Agree on a safe-word, if needed. In the long run, this will strengthen the D/S relationship dynamic & if you find that they are not being compliant, they can be dismissed & disposed of ☺
3. Be confident, feel confident!
Being a Domme is all about being in control. Emanating & exuding that ‘femme fatale’ factor while you’re at it. Embrace your sensuality & femininity. Don’t be shy to order your submissive to kneel down or to not engage in eye contact with you at all. The more you practice this, the easier it will become.
4. Body language is EVERYTHING!
Having a good posture, keeping your head up & having a firm touch are some of the many different signs of being the one that holds all the power; remember to always keep this in mind when in the presence of your submissive, it is all part of the fantasy & asserting your position in the relationship is key. This may come natural to you already, but if not, there’s absolutely no harm in practising this (at home in the mirror, while doing normal day to day things etc.) Having a slouchy posture, looking down & not feeling sure of yourself do not reflect the strong, fiery personality that you have. The submissive will sense this and may want to misbehave/disobey you.
5. It is about YOU. Only YOU & always YOU.
Keep in mind that you’re the superior being, the submissive is there to serve & cater to your wants (however bratty, greedy or sadistic they are). Don’t be shy about it either. Remember, they have approached you because they want to be of service to you. They want to focus their all on you. They want to worship everything about you, so don’t be afraid to lay down the law & have your way. ☺
6. Research, research, research.
We have all had to start somewhere & this is no different. Explore & ask other Dommes for advice. Research their work & their history. Look at their content & find similarities (or differences) in their style of dominating, to aid you to develop & perfect your own style. Watch videos, read books, educate yourself on the craft that is being a Dominatrix. If you can find someone to mentor you, this can be extremely helpful as they can guide you on how to protect yourself, or even teach you some behaviours. The more you research, the more comfortable & confident you will feel about wanting to pursue this & become an authentic & awesome Dominatrix!
7. Communication is Key.
This is very cliché but it is so very true. Being a Domme is about how you conduct yourself when engaging in the fantasy; it is also about what you communicate – but most importantly how you communicate it. How powerful & asserting you are with your instructions/orders – who is in charge, who is in control. You don’t have to be extremely eloquent or shout to show this, as there are many different styles of dominating. You may start by work on your tone, the rhythm that you speak in, the words that you use, ensure your words are being reflected in your body language (refer to point 4). If your words are as sharp as your attitude, you will master this in no time! Remember, you can still sound
like an angel, smiling when you speak & yet make your submissive squirm with fear, obeying to your desires & keeping that line of respect for you. 😉
8. Be organised, have a plan.
As with anything knowledge is power. Dedicate a few hours to research, educate yourself on the different fetishes and the different types of submissives. Unsurprisingly not all submissives like to be shouted and spat at every single time. By implementing this routine, you will find that with time, it will come natural to you. ☺
9. Be creative.
You are expected to come up with all the ideas on how you’d like your submissive to please you. Start by looking at the items in your home (a tie could be used for restraining one’s wrists, a belt could be used as a whip or a collar & leash, a sleeping mask can be used as a blindfold, hairbands can be used to tie (private parts) up, clothing pegs are very popular to use as nipple clamps, the list goes on). Take your time & practice with these items often, find creative ways in which you could use them on your submissive. Before you know it, you’ll feel confident enough to go ahead and buy yourself some kinky equipment to make the fantasy feel more real. 😉
I remember that one of my first sessions with a brand new submissive (back in April this year), I had absolutely no equipment to use – apart from my clothes, shoes & a fertile imagination! During the session, I wanted to tie his private parts up & gag him, but how was I going to do this? Very discreetly, looked around the room & then at my body. I had no hairbands to my wrists but had stockings on. I went ahead and used those stockings to tie him up (you know where) & gag him! Worked extremely well and we still reminisce about that from time to time. A big part of it is being creative with what you have. Give it a try & you might surprise yourself!
10. Look the part, feel the part!
There’s an old saying ‘dress for the job that you want, not the one you have’. This is very subjective & it differs from person to person but there’s just something about dressing the part that almost instantly makes the fantasy feel more realistic. With becoming a Domme, the aesthetic plays a big part in it. Also, we all know that the male species is a very visual being. So working on the look of a Domme always helps. This comes in many forms mind you, so don’t feel like you must go out & purchase a super expensive catsuit, killer heels, latex gloves & a corset tomorrow! If you look at your wardrobe, make up station & accessories, you might find that you already own some items that will help you look the part to begin with (tight clothing, high heels, red lipstick etc.)
To give you an idea, I recently did a photoshoot where I wore an all-white outfit with a black leather waist belt, high heels, hair slicked back & up, simple (minimal) jewellery & minimal make up to match. I can tell you that I felt fierce & powerful, all using items I already owned! The more you play around with the style of your inner Domme, the more comfortable you’ll feel. Also looking up other Domme’s styles may help you with inspiration. Not every Domme looks like Catwoman & that’s the beauty of it – dare to stand out, if you will!
Thats it for now…
There’s so much more advice that I could give you on how to become a Domme (& a good one too) but I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you with a lot of information. Like I mentioned in the beginning, this is a fantasy that not everyone is going to feel comfortable with – it is quite niche & it caters to a very specific type of audience however, if you’re curious about wanting to try this out or to have a feel of what it takes to become one, these pointers were (and still are) the core foundation that I follow everyday, to becoming a better Domme.
LatinaCyn xxx
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